


Accidental Buttplugs

by phdmama



Series: What Happens When Harry's at Work [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8917099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phdmama/pseuds/phdmama
Summary: Technology is not always your friend.Feel free to come see me on Tumblr.This is for my darling CueTheTommo.  I have another thing I actually want to give you for your birthday, but this is just a little pre-birthday drabble because I love you very much a lot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CueTheTommo (RedPhoenix23)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=CueTheTommo+%28RedPhoenix23%29).



“And so,” Harry concludes, “We can see from these end-of-year-sales projections…” His voice trails off as a text flashes up onto the screen the screen of his iPad, and, is, of course, projected onto the screen on the wall, because for once, the integration is seamless.

 _Louis:_ _So I accidentally bought butt plugs!_

Harry quickly swipes the text away, but a certain, sudden stillness in the room lets him know that his board, well. There are at least 17 different graduate degrees amongst the 12 individuals sitting in the room, including Perrie Edwards, who got a Ph.D. in philosophy after selling her first startup to Google _just because she thought it was cool._ There is no way this crowd missed it, and his suspicions are confirmed by the strangled cough that he thinks comes from Niall Horan, who invented the technology that the Apple Glass is based on.

Harry freezes. Because his screen is tied to the projector, he can’t quickly go into settings and turn off the notifications. But if he knows Louis, _and he does know Louis_ , he’s going to spam text him the whole entire story in rapid succession.

Basically, he’s fucked.

He clears his throat and says, “You know, perhaps we might want to take a break?”

Zayn Malik, creator of the database technology that revolutionized big data management, flashes him an almost feral grin. “Oh no,” he drawls, “I, for one, am absolutely fascinated by the topic of…” his voice trails off as he tries to remember what the hell they were talking about.

His partner, in both business and life, if the rumors are correct, Liam Payne, sitting next to him dressed casually in a three-piece suit with a fucking watch chain draped across his impeccable abs, looks up from his iPad, “end of year projections, darling, fascinating stuff.”

“Yes,” Malik continues, “Those. Please,”

Harry’s iPad pings softly and he curses the day he set up iMessage on it.

_Louis: Remember when I was talking to Ravi about my new novel? And he was telling me about those hilarious butt plugs?_

Harry notes faintly that the resolution on the image that Louis sends through really must be very high, because you can see every last detail on the big screen

_Louis: So, apparently, I put them in my shopping cart by accident! And then I ordered all those socks for Christmas? GUESS WHAT SHOWED UP TODAY?!_

Harry can hear the snickers of his board through the blood pounding in his ears, and sinks into his chair with a groan. As another image comes through, he lays his head down on to the table, and mentally kisses the last of his dignity, but hopefully not his career, goodbye.

_Louis: Good news! IT WAS A FOUR PACK!!!_

Harry grabs his iPad, whispers a mental FUCK IT, and texts hastily, watching the message flash onto the big screen, _Babe, I’m AT MY BOARD MEETING!_

The entire room goes silent, breath all held as one, as those three dots appear.

_Louis:_ _ Shit! I totally forgot! Sorry babe! Say hi to the board for me! HEY PEZ! _

Perrie gives a shout of laughter, and then one more text comes through.

_ Louis: Gives a whole new meaning to the term “stocking stuffer,” eh? _

Harry stares helplessly around the room.

“Meeting adjourned.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is based on a true event that happened to me today (though my Better Half wasn't in a board meeting, he was just training an intern).
> 
> A couple of notes: 
> 
> \- In my head, the butt plugs Louis accidentally orders are [these](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Fruit-Series-5pcs-Crystal-Anal-Glass-Dildos-penis-sex-toys-for-woman-adult-Erotic-sex-products/32667310236.html?spm=2114.40010508.4.102.ty0BsV).
> 
> \- Harry texts Louis back because he is afraid that the next image will be of Louis demo-ing one of the butt plugs.


End file.
